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I was relieved of my shirt and connected to a mass of electrodes. Then, looking like a flabby version of one of those chubby land half-man, half-machine mutants in a superhero movie, I was put on chubby land a treadmill and subjected to an exercise protocol apparently called Bruce. Important here is a scale described as the Rate Of Perceived Exertion, a self-reporting scale chubby land running from asleep to death from overexertion. As I had hoped, I did better. There was no arrhythmia of the heart. I managed a measurement of 13.5 mets (a rate of oxygen absorption), which was good for my age. Another test, this one involving lots of breathing into a mask, showed my unique Resting Metabolic Rate was 2580 calories, and that I could happily lose about a kilogram a week by eating 2322 calories while doing five hours of light exercise a week. Next day, however, the blood results came back.
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