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Read dirty books and masturbate often. Incinerate all your nasty old-lady underwear and buy chubby cheeks some that makes you feel chubby cheeks saucy. You say you clean up nice, so do so— all the time. Don't be a slob. Even when you're home alone, it's much more glamorous to watch TV in a kimono than sweats. Consider for a moment the irony of your yen for "skinny raver boys." I'm not saying you should have chubby cheeks sex with peeps you're not attracted to, but c'mon, you're practicing the same kind of looksism you whine that guys do. Expand your horizons or cop to the fact that you fall for these unattainable types because you're too chickenshit to risk having someone actually fall for you. A few years back, I went through a two-year stretch of celibacy after a difficult breakup. I was constantly bitching and moaning to my friends that I was never going to get laid again. One friend finally got so fed up with my incessant kvetching that she took it as her own personal mission to get me fucked. |
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